Started reading a book called Downtime. It's all about prayer. Which gets me to thinking about the condition of my soul. I don't have a typical schedule so I usually count my weeks starting on Saturday. I run from Saturday to Thursday non-stop - planning, prep, phone calls, events, meetings, text messages, emails, reading, files, meals, friends, family time and on it goes... I take Friday's off, but usually end up doing errands or work around the house. Last week I had an extra day with Thanksgiving. I just dropped. I was exhausted. Downtime has been a foreign word to me. I am not talking about wasting time but rather time spend in the still quiet, the loving arms of God, the beauty of creation, the echo of the scriptures. 
Now I am where I quiet often find myself - in a desert place. I think this is THE struggle. The Chaos of Life vs. The Calling of God. John talks about abiding. God calls us to abide in Him. To be. It's not a productive state according to the world's standards. No money is made when we spend time in God. No school work is done. Chores, phone calls, to-do lists, all must wait. Yet it is essential to our souls. If we wish to carry the spark of life that is so often taken from us, we must abide. We cannot approach prayer as though it were an aquisition. Dear God please grant me the following : ___________, _____________, and ______________. This is no connection, no relationship. This is not abiding. Being with God, being in God's presence is THE reason we are here. We were created to BE with God, of God, and in God's fullness. The world will keep on dragging us away, convincing us otherwise. It will tear us apart, chew us up and spit us out into tiny useless pieces that we then try to put back together. Wholeness, holiness cannot be found in anything else. Abide my friends, for that is where we are called.
Now I am where I quiet often find myself - in a desert place. I think this is THE struggle. The Chaos of Life vs. The Calling of God. John talks about abiding. God calls us to abide in Him. To be. It's not a productive state according to the world's standards. No money is made when we spend time in God. No school work is done. Chores, phone calls, to-do lists, all must wait. Yet it is essential to our souls. If we wish to carry the spark of life that is so often taken from us, we must abide. We cannot approach prayer as though it were an aquisition. Dear God please grant me the following : ___________, _____________, and ______________. This is no connection, no relationship. This is not abiding. Being with God, being in God's presence is THE reason we are here. We were created to BE with God, of God, and in God's fullness. The world will keep on dragging us away, convincing us otherwise. It will tear us apart, chew us up and spit us out into tiny useless pieces that we then try to put back together. Wholeness, holiness cannot be found in anything else. Abide my friends, for that is where we are called.
